Are You Too Close Or Too Distant?

Have you ever felt the need to put some distance between yourself and something you’re really struggling with, or something you really need to look at in a different way?

No doubt, as many say, distance has this great knack of being able to drop droplets of wisdom in to a situation, enabling us to see with greater clarity and insight before engaging closely again. It seems closeness and distance are two sides of the same coin.

No where is this more pronounced than in our relationships with one another. Who of us don’t long for the kind of intimacy where we are seen and embraced, yet are also free to create our own space in between. Too much distance, and you have indifference and separation; too much closeness, and you have smothering and suffocation. To allow any one of these dimensions to become fixed or frozen in one position or another, causes us to miss out on life.

Again, the sea for me provides a great parable. The waves kiss and touch the shore, then draw back in to space only to come and touch again in that ancient rhythm and dance of the tides.

I think part of living well has everything to do with discerning and understanding this wonderful interflow between closeness and distance. You can always recognise those who do. They are people in their own right, not afraid of intimacy, always secure in distance, and like the wind, can’t be manipulated. Good people to know.


About Don

I love life. Sometimes it makes sense, other times not. Discerning its underlying patterns and beauty always provides great reward and meaning and is a passion I ineptly follow. I feel deeply attached to nature and love the sea with its distinct moods and colour and find walking along its beaches wonderfully inspiring. Writing, sketching and photography is a sheer joy for me and the blog is one of the places I am able to express these pursuits.
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8 Responses to Are You Too Close Or Too Distant?

  1. Terry Ann says:

    Perfect timing once again Don, just something I needed to read right now. Feeling like pulling back from a situation instead of showing some support could be construed as being too distant, but I get too emotionally involved and say the wrong thing or pass judgement. I suppose I just answered my own question – thank you Don


  2. Don says:

    Terry, perhaps just feeling the tension is a good sign. It means you’re sensitive to the situation. Hope you can resolve it.


  3. Jenny Sprong says:

    Thanks Don, the sea is a wonderful example.
    Blessings to you.


  4. ladyfi says:

    Such wise words. The sea is indeed symbolic of the way life can be.


  5. lyn Stephenson says:

    I opened your post this morning which immediately brought back memories of ‘Shall we dance’ and the hours of hard work we put into those teachings on masculine and feminine. Good fun and fond memories.

    I have never forgotten “Separation without intimacy is alienation and isolation… intimacy without separtion is dependency.” it became a kind of mantra and one I have never forgotten.

    Thanks for the reminder that we see it everyday in the ebb and flow of the ocean.


    • Don says:

      Thanks Lyn. O’yes, good memories and so worthwhile. Interesting you speak of it becoming like a kind of a mantra. That has also become my experience. Thank you for the reminder. Good times.


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