Recently, I was talking to some friends and we got on to the topic of male loneliness. It was interesting to note how we danced around our vulnerabilities as we spoke, but we spoke and it was good. That night the synchronicity happened. I was reading John O’ Donohue’s book, “Divine Beauty – The Invisible Embrace” and suddenly came across this:
“We begin in woman. To inherit the feminine is an invitation and challenge to each of us. For the little girl-child this inheritance begins with an instinctive, subconscious affirmation: this is what I have to become – what my mother is – I will become a woman. For the boy-child this inheritance gradually structures itself in to a negative: this is what I cannot become; though I have found form and dwelt within woman, it is impossible for me to become woman. This is perhaps where the silent lonesomeness of the masculine begins. The male child is thrown in to the aloneness of his identity. He must acquaint himself with distance. He has to journey outwards, across space to find the father, to learn the presence and art of becoming a man.”
These words touched me and gave me a lot to think about. I also began to wonder more deeply about the devastating impact of the absent father syndrome on the loneliness of this journey.