Don’t Kiss Granny or Grandad

file0001375422387A high-five or wave should replace a family kiss. This was suggested by Lucy Emmerson coordinator of the UK’s Sex Education Forum.

Speaking to parents she advised them to stop persuading their young children to kiss a granny or an elderly aunt or a grandfather as it could blur the boundaries of what is acceptable in the whole area of physical contact.

I just found this to be so sad. When you begin to relate a young child kissing his or her grandmother or grandfather to the blurring of boundaries and the possibility of unwanted sexual advances, something sounds very wrong.

Already many men, and I speak as one, find themselves in a world of anxiety and uncertainty when it comes to expressing affection towards children, even their own, for fear of how that will be interpreted.  Advice like Lucy Emmerson’s certainly does nothing to make it easier.

Of course we have to protect our children and take all sorts of precautions, but something tells me this is taking it to the point of absurdity. I hope Lucy Emmerson does a lot more thinking around this.

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About Don

I love life. Sometimes it makes sense, other times not. Discerning its underlying patterns and beauty always provides great reward and meaning and is a passion I ineptly follow. I feel deeply attached to nature and love the sea with its distinct moods and colour and find walking along its beaches wonderfully inspiring. Writing, sketching and photography is a sheer joy for me and the blog is one of the places I am able to express these pursuits.
This entry was posted in Family, Life, Men and Women, Sexuality and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

36 Responses to Don’t Kiss Granny or Grandad

  1. office mum says:

    I agree, that’s very sad. I think there are other ways to protect children.

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  2. I agree that is very sad. It’s bad how many men feel that they cannot be spontaneous around children. Now we Grannies and Grandads are to be made to feel bad too. I echo your thoughts and hope Lucy retracts this daft idea!

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  3. Tim Attwell says:

    Quite right Don. There’s a difference between educating children and fostering neurotic anxiety in them. Lucy Emmerson’s advice floats pretty close to the latter, not to mention profiling every grandad as a potential child abuser. Then again, I guess its up to grandad to be the kind of person the grand children want to hug without having to be persuaded. But then, yet again, maybe Lucy Emmerson would suspect grandad of “grooming” if he was. Hey! Being a grandad is downright scary!

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    • Don says:

      So good to hear from you Tim. I agree with you. I think your fostering neurotic anxiety is spot on.
      It is downright scary 🙂 Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Much appreciated.

      Like

  4. doronart says:

    Our world going doolally… so many years ago there were no such nonsense around and everybody were happy. Lets sit at home and do everything via computers and internet and we can avoid that personal touch… what a safe world, Emotionless Planet……

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    • Don says:

      Thank you doronart – “Emotionless Planet” – now there’s a thought. What would we do without personal touch.

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      • doronart says:

        No a lot… probably hibernate and wait for it to be all over… Thank goodness we have some global warming it might warm our sad cold world that being led by too many amature boring people. Whats wrong with love care and respect… your grandparents were not curved fron rocks… lets turn to snowmen.. Like your post thanks for waking me up.

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      • Don says:

        🙂 thank you.

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  5. josna says:

    I agree with you heartily. The only situation in which one might not allow children to kiss their grandparents would be when they had a cold that it would be unsafe for their grandparent to catch.

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  6. nrhatch says:

    How absurd. And sad. Hope that everyone ignores Miss Lucy’s advice.

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  7. ptero9 says:

    Oh my!!! Does she realize that she is advocating that kisses be left to the exclusively sexual with that advice? That’s how I read it anyway.

    I think you’re spot on here Don. Of course children’s interactions with all adults should be monitored by parents or guardians.

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  8. Oh that really is sad, kisses and hugs are what it’s all about, My boys (5 and 3) will only high five their uncles, their choice, they say kisses are for girls but Grandad gets them too 🙂

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  9. totsymae1011 says:

    Strange world we live in that our perceptions have changed to this extent.

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  10. I am gobsmacked! Taking caution to extremes indeed! All of this PC stuff is leading to a place where basic ideals and expressions of love and affection are being cast as wickedness.
    We are already being pushed towards non-involvement and non-caring attitudes by over-protective laws, and the repercussions are evident.
    I see it in attitudes towards asylum seekers here. But it has been apparent for years – when I was teaching, the no-contact with pupils rule even led to teachers being unable to comfort a hurt child, even when it was only to hold a hand or stroke a head.
    We are heading for a society I don’t want my grandchildren to live in.

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    • Don says:

      Thanks Linda. In schools here a similar thing is happening. One has to be cautious, but at times it really becomes ludicrous. You’re right, laws can become so over protective that they squash the life out of what they are to basically protect.

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  11. Speaking as the Mor-Mor (Swedish for Mother’s Mother) of two wonderful grandchildren, we’re not following the knuckle-knocking alternative suggestions. Kids–and their parents and grandparents–thrive on hugs and kisses!

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  12. Holli says:

    How ridiculous! I’m sad that she is an apparent voice of authority. I hope that people will see the insanity of her suggestion.

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  13. darrelhoff says:

    I agree with you. I do hope this Lady does more thinking around the issue; because that is just way to cautious…

    Like

  14. Caroline says:

    I believe that teaching children about ‘good touch’ is an under rated way of teaching them to recognise ‘bad touch’ or unhealthy, unwanted physical contact. Plenty of hugs and kisses in our family!

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  15. Ahmed says:

    That doesn’t make any sense!

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  16. Magda says:

    How sad!! My late Dad was a child magnet, even walking in the supermarket strange children would reach out to him and call grampa or oupa, and he loved to talk to him. In the later years, shortly before he passed away, I had to tell him not to talk to strangers children, and he could not understand why!! So sad that our society has become so perverted.

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    • Don says:

      That’s such a sad story Magda. Hard to accept that something so good , so innocent and natural can become so complex and unnatural. Thank you for sharing that

      Like

  17. ladyfi says:

    This is so absurd and sad! Whatever happened to innocence and love?

    Like

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